Published on July 02, 2012 Dealing with rude and abusive customer emails
No matter how much you play within the rule and do your absolute most to give good customer service, not everyone will be happy all of the time. And some customers may send an explosive or fiery email to you abusing some aspect of your service or business, or the products that you have sold them online.
How do you handle these people? There are a few key things to remember when dealing with a rude and abusive customer: stay calm, address their concerns, and stay factual.
Ever received an email like this?
To whom it may concern,
I bought an x from your store on x and it took 15 days to get to me. That’s terrible service when I have bought similar products from America and got them in 5 days – and didn’t have to pay any shipping! Such despicable service such as yours is what I expect from Australian businesses and you can be sure you won’t be in business long if you keep going the way you are.
Worse still, when you sent me the item, you didn’t call me to tell me you had sent it, you did not get your delivery company to call me before they delivered it, and you sent it in a crappy Australia Post satchel, without even bothering to throw in some free gift wrapping even though I paid over $50 for the item. I can see that you’re just another one of those illegal rip off businesses I see on TV every night!
I know I’ve been ripped off because when I get similar products from America they come gift wrapped even if I don’t ask for it, and they send them free shipping for no extra cost. You charged me $8 for postage and it’s taken twice as long as I could have got the same item from the States. I looked up on Australia Post’s website and you have only paid $7.20 for sending me the bag, keeping the profits. Nothing I didn’t expect! You’ve ripped me off for the postage, and I can probably expect that the products are cheap imitation rip offs from overseas too. That’s probably why it took you so long to send them to me – you’ve ordered some copies of the real products from China and on sent them to me when you’ve got them.
You totally misled me by not telling me that the item wasn’t in stock in your shop and you would have to order it in from your warehouse and your business practices are illegal. You’re a dodgy operator and don’t deserve to be in business at all. I’ll be taking my money to your competitors (who sell the same things as you cheaper anyway)!!!
All I can say is f*** your terrible rip-off business!
Regards
Why you shouldn’t bite back
If you bite back with an equally rude email you may live to regret it later. There’s nothing wrong with being assertive and defending yourself, but you need to ensure that you don’t go further than you need to or else the situation will merely escalate.
A rude and abusive customer can sometimes be the opportunity you need to create a friend or advocate of your business. Not always, but your mindset is important. Go into any reply or response thinking like this and you at least have a chance of a change in that person’s attitude.
Response strategy – calm is king
It’s human nature to defend your own personal feelings of being hurt by a rude customer’s comments, and it’s a natural human response to take aggressive emails and phone messages personally. You have to tell yourself not to, because that’s the way to stir up the situation even more.
This said, it does not mean that you can’t be assertive. If a customer has been rude to you, call them on that up-front. You are a professional seller and not a doormat, so let the customer know that. Tell them that your business does not tolerate abusive language and there is no need to be so aggressive. Then, proceed to answer their query, factually and professionally.
Here’s where the opportunity comes to deal with the customer creatively. Try to understand what their actual problem is and what has led them to up the intensity to abusive levels. Are they frustrated that they can’t get through? Are they just a naturally irritated customer? Do they just generally have a low opinion of online shops? Are they comparing your service to another business (probably overseas)? In your opinion (and be honest to yourself) they have any justification in why they are angry?
If you can find a solution to their problem that you feel will address their concerns without escalating the situation then try to deliver it. It’s not always easy when emotions are running hot, however.
Some definite don’ts:
- Don’t force the customer to email you back with their problem in a more polite way by writing back to them initially saying you have rejected their question because of their abusive language. It’s very tempting to do, but it will just make the situation worse.
- Don’t play tit for tat. The customer doesn’t really care about your personal feelings, and is looking for an emotional reaction. Before you send back your reply take out any emotional sentences that you have put in there and remove all the “cheap-shots” you might have written in your first draft. They’ll make you feel better, but will extend the length of the dispute.
- Don’t write back before checking the customer’s account, viewing their receipts/invoices and any correspondence you’ve had with them. You don’t want one fact that’s wrong in your reply or they’ll have something to fry you with.
Remember, in many cases they’ll probably come back swinging again at you, so it may be an iterative process. Do not engage in a dogfight. Stick to the facts, be empathetic but professional and deal with the points raised. Justify what you have to but don’t be sucked into lengthy explanations or become submissive.
An draft of a sample reply to an abusive email may end up being something along the lines of the following:
Dear
Thank you for your email. I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling ripped off but can assure you that we are a legitimate business and operate ethically with our customer’s needs in mind. We appreciate that you are feeling frustrated but can we please firstly ask that you do not use aggressive and abusive language in your emails. This is not something our business tolerates.
In response to the points you raised in your email:
We do appreciate that you have chosen to buy from us and would like to continue to do business with you. We don’t like to turn away business but we stand by our business and processes and if you don‘t feel you can get a satisfactory resolution on this issue you may wish to consider a different company to buy from in the future. They may be able to serve your needs in a way that better meets your expectations. If that is the case, we wish you well for the future.
Regards
Customer Service Team
A Note about negative language or cheap-shots.
e.g. Don’t say things like “we don’t understand why you think that…”, or “if only you had read our terms you would have known that….”. Refer to terms, conditions, business policies and previous correspondence if you have to but be polite. You’re there to help customers but you‘re not a doormat. If the customer has a legitimate way to improve your offering then acknowledge that too – credit where credit is due!
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